2/25/10 (i.e. yesterday)

So, I finally got around to charting out the next three years of my life, as deemed by my Intro to the English Major class. I learned (after carefully shuffling requirements around) that a major, two minors, and those blasted liberal studies make it tricky to do said careful shuffling.


Then I remembered the Honors College was registering at midnight and had an "Ohshit" moment. Two hours later I had learned that either the system had not been informed of my preference for morning classes on MWF, or they had and were actively working against me. I'm still slightly extremely bitter about it, so we'll just go with the later.

.

I now have an 18-hour schedule. Am I happy with it? Hell no, but it is what it is and I can't really do anything about it. To be brutally honest (as I tend to be, of course), it's miraculous that I managed to puzzle together this impossibly intricate depiction of my future.

^This is what my schedule really wants to say to me.

ON ARISTOTLE

I was in a foul mood yesterday, in part completely because of the aforementioned disaster occurrence. Reading Aristotle when cranky is a very bad idea. I do not recommend it. My experience mainly involved me reading (i.e. growing more and more confused/skeptical of Aristotle's right to exist) by blinking dazedly at pages, one by one, for five minutes until I realized it was all complete bullshit (as philosophy tends to be). I then began to tear into it with vicious satisfaction (though not literally, it's a rental). Part of me was itching to highlight this reading article composed of whatthefuckery in hot pink (I don't know, it seemed insulting to me...stop judging me), but I didn't want to waste the ink.

Some of you might be shocked. Some of you might be mildly insulted (but that seems to be a trend). "It's a classic!" people could (and probably would will say). "You're an English major, how could you hate the glory and intelligence that is Aristotle?" Before you start judging me, let me make it easier on you.

I DON'T LIKE SHAKESPEARE.

Gasp.

How dare I call myself an English major! If I were a proper English major, I would slavishly worship the ground these plays pages upon which his glorious plays were lovingly printed on. But I have the right to like what I like and hold disdain for overemphasized popular celebrities (Miley Cyrus, anyone?). Can I back this up with legit reasons? No, not really, but I can give you my reasons.

1. He is severely overrated. (Yes, that is a justifiable reason.)
2. People need to stop acting like he was so damn creative and able to capture human nature (Is that right? I'm not entirely sure what people who actually care about him trick themselves into thinking believe in his crap brilliance.
3. HE DID NOT INVENT THE WORD ASSASSIN. Look in the dictionary. Does it say "Origin: Shakespeare"?! NO IT DOES NOT. It came from hassassin, which is from the Arabic language.*
4. (A continuation of #2) He wrote about the human experience and captured what it means to be human/mortal/whatever. But, my darlings, let's be rational: HE GOT THERE FIRST. Self-explanatory.

Now, I'm moving on before I completely destroy my English major reputation. 

THIS WEEK

 (up until this point, which was Wednesday) has been interesting. Or, at the very least, busy. In a nutshell:

• Monday: Three classes, first tutoring appointment, MIDNIGHT SPAGHETTI!
• Tuesday: Advising Day, no classes, planning the next three years of my life, having plans ruined by registration, etc.
• Wednesday: SNARK ATTACK. Jericho's internet fucked up, Intro to Peer Tutoring was shitty as hell, classes were relatively decent otherwise

If I knew anything about software, I'd be unstoppable. 

Or so says David. (And yes, I am aware that this is becoming so long that I don't want to type it up typing it up is ridiculous, but suck it up.)

Moving on (or back to the subject, at least): My complete and utter retardation in regards to software was incredibly obvious. 


The full explanation will might come at a later point, when I'm less likely to kick babies (or want to, at least) at the mere thought.

I blame Microsoft.

This is what Troubleshooting essentially told me.

Pro Writing major wrote majorly today.

Mainly, I tweaked my humanity essay and wrote a poem, but the fact remains: I WROTE SOMETHING CREATIVE!

On a closing note, these are the five songs I can't stop listening to (metaphorically):

1. "Hawkbot" - Forever the Sickest Kids (with headphones it's like sex for my ears)
2. "Hell To Sell" - The Audition (his voice IS sex, irrefutably)
3. "I AM Who I AM" - The Cab (again, most likely due to headphones)
4. "Spinning" - Jack's Mannequin (just...guh)
5. "Take Me As I Am" - FM Static (which was stuck in my head when I wrote this...)

And for anyone wondering where "Tiffany Blews" is, that goes without saying.

Accurate depiction of life, eh?

*How did I learn this? Well, from Dan Brown, who is The Ultimate Source of All Wisdom, Knowledge, and Insight. Duh.